Add to this the adoption of names and surnames,

Adde his nominum et cognominum adoptiones.

those divine honors given to a man of no reputation, and the deification of the most wicked tyrants with public ceremonies;

Adde divinos honores, homuncioni exhibitos, adde publicis cerimoniis in Deos relatos etiam sceleratissimos tyrannos.

most foolish things, and such as one Democritus is too little to laugh at.

Stultissima sunt hæc, et ad quæ ridenda non unus sufficiat Democritus.

Who denies it?

Quis negat?

And yet from this root sprang all the great acts of the heroes which the pens of so many eloquent men have extolled to the skies.

Atqui hoc fonte nata sunt fortium Heroum facinora, quæ tot eloquentium virorum litteris in coelum tolluntur.

In a word, this folly is that that laid the foundation of cities; and by it, empire, authority, religion, policy, and public actions are preserved; neither is there anything in human life that is not a kind of pastime of folly.

Hæc stultitia parit civitates, hac constant imperia, magistratus, religio, consilia, iudicia, nec aliud omnino est vita humana, quam stultitiæ lusus quidam.

XXVIII

XXVIII

But to speak of arts, what set men’s wits on work to invent and transmit to posterity so many famous, as they conceive, pieces of learning but the thirst of glory?

Iam vero ut de artibus dicam, quid tandem mortalium ingenia ad excogitandas prodendasque posteris, tot egregias, ut putant disciplinas excitavit, nisi gloriæ sitis?

With so much loss of sleep, such pains and travail, have the most foolish of men thought to purchase themselves a kind of I know not what fame, than which nothing can be more vain.

Tantis vigiliis, tantis sudoribus, famam, nescio quam, qua nihil esse potest inanius, redimendam putarunt homines vere stultissimi.

And yet notwithstanding, you owe this advantage to folly, and which is the most delectable of all other, that you reap the benefit of other men’s madness.

Sed interim Stultitiæ tot iam egregia vitæ commoda debetis, quodque est longe dulcissimum, aliena fruimini insania.

XXIX

XXIX

And now, having vindicated to myself the praise of fortitude and industry, what think you if I do the same by that of prudence?

Ergo posteaquam mihi fortitudinis et industriæ laudem vindicavi, quid si prudentiæ quoque vindicem?

But some will say, you may as well join fire and water. It may be so. But yet I doubt not but to succeed even in this also, if, as you have done hitherto, you will but favor me with your attention.

Sed dixerit aliquis eadem opera ignem aquæ misceas, licebit. Verum hoc quoque successurum, arbitror, si vos modo, quod antehac fecistis, auribus atque animis favebitis.

And first, if prudence depends upon experience, to whom is the honor of that name more proper? To the wise man, who partly out of modesty and partly distrust of himself, attempts nothing; or the fool, whom neither modesty which he never had, nor danger which he never considers, can discourage from anything?

Principio si rerum usu constat prudentia, in utrum magis competet eius cognominis honos, in sapientem, qui partim ob pudorem, partim ob animi timiditatem nihil aggreditur, an in stultum, quem neque pudor quo vacat, neque periculum, quod non perpendit, ab ulla re deterret?

The wise man has recourse to the books of the ancients, and from thence picks nothing but subtleties of words.

Sapiens ad libros Veterum confugit, atque hinc meras vocum argutias ediscit.

The fool, in undertaking and venturing on the business of the world, gathers, if I mistake not, the true prudence,

Stultus adeundis cominusque periclitandis rebus, veram, ni fallor, prudentiam colligit.

such as Homer though blind may be said to have seen when he said, “The burnt child dreads the fire.”

Id quod vidisse videtur Homerus, etiamsi cæcus, cum ait rechthen de te nêpios egnô.

For there are two main obstacles to the knowledge of things, modesty that casts a mist before the understanding, and fear that, having fancied a danger, dissuades us from the attempt.

Sunt enim duo præcipua ad cognitionem rerum parandam obstacula, pudor qui fumum offundit animo, et metus, qui ostenso periculo, dehortatur ab adeundis facinoribus.

But from these folly sufficiently frees us,

At his magnifice liberat Stultitia.

and few there are that rightly understand of what great advantage it is to blush at nothing and attempt everything.

Pauci mortales intelligunt ad quam multas alias quoque commoditates conducat, numquam pudescere, et nihil non audere.

But if you had rather take prudence for that that consists in the judgment of things, hear me, I beseech you, how far they are from it that yet crack of the name.

Quod si prudentiam accipere malunt eam quæ rerum iudicio constat, audite obsecro, quam procul absint ab hac, qui hoc nomine sese venditant.

For first ’tis evident that all human things, like Alcibiades’ Sileni or rural gods, carry a double face, but not the least alike; so that what at first sight seems to be death, if you view it narrowly may prove to be life; and so the contrary.

Principio constat res omneis humanas, velut Alcibiadis Silenos, binas habere facies nimium inter sese dissimiles.

What appears beautiful may chance to be deformed; what wealthy, a very beggar; what infamous, praiseworthy; what learned, a dunce; what lusty, feeble; what jocund, sad; what noble, base; what lucky, unfortunate; what friendly, an enemy; and what healthful, noisome. In short, view the inside of these Sileni, and you’ll find them quite other than what they appear;

Adeo ut quod prima, ut aiunt, fronte mors est, si interius inspicias, vita sit: contra quod vita, mors: quod formosum, deforme: quod opulentum, id pauperrimum: quod infame, gloriosum: quod doctum, indoctum: quod robustum, imbecille: quod generosum, ignobile: quod lætum, triste: quod prosperum, adversum: quod amicum, inimicum: quod salutare, noxium: breviter, omnia repente versa reperies, si Silenum aperueris.

which, if perhaps it shall not seem so philosophically spoken, I’ll make it plain to you “after my blunt way.”

Id si cui forte nimis philosophice dictum videtur, age pinguiore, quemadmodum dici solet, Minerva, planius faciam.

Who would not conceive a prince a great lord and abundant in everything?

Quis Regem non et opulentum, et dominum fatetur?

But yet being so ill-furnished with the gifts of the mind, and ever thinking he shall never have enough, he’s the poorest of all men.

Atqui nullis animi bonis instructus est, atqui nihil illi satis est, iam videlicet pauperrimus est.

And then for his mind so given up to vice, ’tis a shame how it enslaves him.

Tum animum habet plurimis addictum vitiis, iam turpiter servus est.

I might in like manner philosophize of the rest; but let this one, for example’s sake, be enough.

Ad eumdem modum in cæteris quoque philosophari liceret. Sed hoc exempli vice posuisse satis sit.

Yet why this? will someone say. Have patience, and I’ll show you what I drive at.

At quorsum hæc? inquiet aliquis. Audite quo rem deducamus.

If anyone seeing a player acting his part on a stage should go about to strip him of his disguise and show him to the people in his true native form, would he not, think you, not only spoil the whole design of the play, but deserve himself to be pelted off with stones as a phantastical fool and one out of his wits?

Si quis histrionibus in scena fabulam agentibus personas detrahere conetur, ac spectatoribus veras nativasque facies ostenderel, nonne is fabulam omnem perverterit, dignusque habeatur, quem omnes e theatro velut lymphatum saxis eiiciant?

But nothing is more common with them than such changes; the same person one while impersonating a woman, and another while a man; now a youngster, and by and by a grim seignior; now a king, and presently a peasant; now a god, and in a trice again an ordinary fellow.

Exorietur autem repente nova rerum species, ut qui modo mulier, nunc vir: qui modo iuvenis, mox senex: qui paulo ante Rex, subito Dama: qui modo Deus, repente homunculus appareat.

But to discover this were to spoil all, it being the only thing that entertains the eyes of the spectators.

Verum eum errorem tollere, est fabulam omnem perturbare. Illud ipsum figmentum et fucus est, quod spectatorum oculos detinet.

And what is all this life but a kind of comedy, wherein men walk up and down in one another’s disguises and act their respective parts, till the property-man brings them back to the attiring house.

Porro mortalium vita omnis quid aliud est, quam fabula quæpiam, in qua alii aliis obtecti personis procedunt, aguntque suas quisque partes, donec choragus educat e proscenio?

And yet he often orders a different dress, and makes him that came but just now off in the robes of a king put on the rags of a beggar.

Qui sæpe tamen eumdem diverso cultu prodire iubet, ut qui modo Regem purpuratum egerat, nunc servulum pannosum gerat.

Thus are all things represented by counterfeit, and yet without this there was no living.

Adumbrata quidem omnia, sed hæc fabula non aliter agitur.

And here if any wise man, as it were dropped from heaven, should start up and cry, this great thing whom the world looks upon for a god and I know not what is not so much as a man, for that like a beast he is led by his passions, but the worst of slaves, inasmuch as he gives himself up willingly to so many and such detestable masters.

Hic si mihi sapiens aliquis coelo delapsus subito exoriatur, clamitetque hunc quem omnes ut Deum ac dominum suspiciunt, nec hominum esse, quod pecudum ritu ducatur affectibus, servum esse infimum, quod tam multis, tamque foedis dominis sponte serviat.

Again if he should bid a man that were bewailing the death of his father to laugh, for that he now began to live by having got an estate, without which life is but a kind of death;

Rursum alium, qui parentem exstinctum luget, ridere iubeat, quod iam demum ille vivere coeperit, cum alioqui vita hæc nihil aliud sit quam mors quædam.

or call another that were boasting of his family ill begotten or base, because he is so far removed from virtue that is the only fountain of nobility; and so of the rest: what else would he get by it but be thought himself mad and frantic?

Porro alium stemmatis gloriantem, ignobilem ac nothum appellet, quod a virtute longe absit, quæ sola nobilitatis sit fons, adque eumdem modum de cæteris omnibus loquatur, quæso, quid is aliud egerit, nisi ut demens ac furiosus omnibus esse videatur?

For as nothing is more foolish than preposterous wisdom, so nothing is more unadvised than a forward unseasonable prudence.

Ut nihil est stultius præpostera sapientia, ita perversa prudentia nihil imprudentius.

And such is his that does not comply with the present time “and order himself as the market goes,” but forgetting that law of feasts, “either drink or begone,” undertakes to disprove a common received opinion.

Siquidem perverse facit, qui sese non accommodet rebus præsentibus, foroque nolit uti, nec saltem legis illius convivialis meminerit, ê pithi, ê apithi, postuletque ut fabula iam non sit fabula.

Whereas on the contrary ’tis the part of a truly prudent man not to be wise beyond his condition, but either to take no notice of what the world does, or run with it for company.

Contra, vere prudentis est, cum sis mortalis, nihil ultra sortem sapere velle, cumque universa hominum multitudine vel connivere libenter, vel comiter errare.

But this is foolish, you’ll say;

At istud ipsum, inquiunt, stultitiæ est.

nor shall I deny it, provided always you be so civil on the other side as to confess that this is to act a part in that world.

Haud equidem inficias iverim, modo fateantur illi vicissim hoc esse, vitæ fabulam agere.

XXX

XXX

But, O you gods, “shall I speak or hold my tongue?”

Cæterum illud, o Dii immortales! eloquarne, an sileam?

But why should I be silent in a thing that is more true than truth itself?

Cur autem sileam, cum sit vero verius?

However it might not be amiss perhaps in so great an affair to call forth the Muses from Helicon, since the poets so often invoke them upon every foolish occasion.

Sed præstiterit fortassis in re tanta, Musas ex Helicone accersere, quas Poetæ sæpius ob meras nugas advocare solent.

Be present then awhile, and assist me, you daughters of Jupiter, while I make it out that there is no way to that so much famed wisdom, nor access to that fortress as they call it of happiness, but under the banner of Folly.

Adeste igitur paulisper, Iovis filiæ, dum ostendo nec ad egregiam illam sapientiam, ac felicitatis, ut ipsi vocant arcem, aditum esse cuiquam, nisi STULTITIA duce.

And first ’tis agreed of all hands that our passions belong to Folly;

Iam primum illud in confesso est, affectus omnes ad Stultitiam pertinere.

inasmuch as we judge a wise man from a fool by this, that the one is ordered by them, the other by reason;

Quandoquidem hac nota a stulto sapientem discernunt, quod illum affectus, hunc ratio temperat.

and therefore the Stoics remove from a wise man all disturbances of mind as so many diseases. But these passions do not only the office of a tutor to such as are making towards the port of wisdom, but are in every exercise of virtue as it were spurs and incentives, nay and encouragers to well doing:

Eoque Stoici perturbationes omnes ceu morbos a sapiente semovent, verum affectus isti non solum pædagogorum vice funguntur ad sapientiæ portum properantibus, verum etiam in omni virtutis functione, ceu calcaria stimulique quidam adesse solent, velut ad bene agendum exhortatores.

which though that great Stoic Seneca most strongly denies, and takes from a wise man all affections whatever,

Quamquam hic fortiter reclamat bis Stoicus Seneca, qui prorsum omnem affectum adimit sapienti.

yet in doing that he leaves him not so much as a man but rather a new kind of god that was never yet nor ever like to be.

Verum cum id facit, iam ne hominem quidem relinquit, sed novum potius Deum quemdam dêmiourgei, qui nusquam nec exstitit umquam, nec exstabit: imo ut apertius dicam, marmoreum hominis simulacrum constituit, stupidum, et ab omni prorsus humano sensu alienum.

Nay, to speak plainer, he sets up a stony semblance of a man, void of all sense and common feeling of humanity. And much good to them with this wise man of theirs; let them enjoy him to themselves, love him without competitors, and live with him in Plato’s commonwealth, the country of ideas, or Tantalus’ orchards.

Proinde, si libet, ipsi suo sapiente fruantur, citraque rivalem ament licet, cumque eo vel in civitate Platonis, vel si malint, in idearum regione, vel in Tantaliis inhabitent hortis.

For who would not shun and startle at such a man, as at some unnatural accident or spirit? A man dead to all sense of nature and common affections, and no more moved with love or pity than if he were a flint or rock; whose censure nothing escapes; that commits no errors himself, but has a lynx’s eyes upon others; measures everything by an exact line, and forgives nothing; pleases himself with himself only; the only rich, the only wise, the only free man, and only king; in brief, the only man that is everything, but in his own single judgment only; that cares not for the friendship of any man, being himself a friend to no man; makes no doubt to make the gods stoop to him, and condemns and laughs at the whole actions of our life?

Quis enim non istiusmodi hominem ceu portentum ac spectrum fugitet horreatque, qui ad omnes naturæ sensus obsurduerit, qui nullis sit affectibus, nec amore, nec misericordia magis commoveatur, quam si dura silex, aut stet Marpesia cautes, quem nihil fugiat, qui nihil erret, sed ceu Lynceus quispiam nihil non perspiciat, nihil non ad amussim perpendat, nihil ignoscat, qui solus se ipso sit contentus, solus dives, solus sanus, solus rex, solus liber, breviter, omnia solus, sed suo solius iudicio, qui nullum moretur amicum, ipse amicus nemini, qui Diis quoque ipsis non dubitet mandare laqueum, qui quidquid in omni vita geritur, velut insanum damnet, rideatque?

And yet such a beast is this their perfect wise man.

Atqui huiusmodi animal est absolutus ille sapiens.

But tell me pray, if the thing were to be carried by most voices, what city would choose him for its governor, or what army desire him for their general? What woman would have such a husband, what goodfellow such a guest, or what servant would either wish or endure such a master?

Quæso, si res agatur suffragiis, quæ civitas istiusmodi magistratum sibi velit, aut quis exercitus talem optet ducem? imo quæ mulier id genus maritum, quis convivator eiusmodi convivam, quis servus talibus moribus domnium vel optet, vel ferat?

Nay, who had not rather have one of the middle sort of fools, who, being a fool himself, may the better know how to command or obey fools; and who though he please his like, ’tis yet the greater number; one that is kind to his wife, merry among his friends, a boon companion, and easy to be lived with; and lastly one that thinks nothing of humanity should be a stranger to him?

Quis autem non malit vel unum quemvis de media stultissimorum hominum plebe, qui stultus stultis vel imperare possit, vel parere, qui sui similibus placeat, sed quam plurimis, qui comis sit in uxorem, iucundus amicis, bellus conviva, convictor facilis, postremo qui nihil humani a se alienum putet?

But I am weary of this wise man,

Sed me quidem iam dudum istius sapientis piget.

and therefore I’ll proceed to some other advantages. Go to then.

Quare ad reliqua commoda sese recipiat oratio.

XXXI

XXXI

Suppose a man in some lofty high tower, and that he could look round him, as the poets say Jupiter was now and then wont. To how many misfortunes would he find the life of man subject? How miserable, to say no worse, our birth, how difficult our education; to how many wrongs our childhood exposed, to what pains our youth; how unsupportable our old age, and grievous our unavoidable death? As also what troops of diseases beset us, how many casualties hang over our heads, how many troubles invade us, and how little there is that is not steeped in gall? To say nothing of those evils one man brings upon another, as poverty, imprisonment, infamy, dishonesty, racks, snares, treachery, reproaches, actions, deceits—

Agedum, si quis velut e sublimi specula circumspiciat, ita ut Iovem Poetæ facere prædicant, quot calamitatibus hominum vita sit obnoxia, quam misera, quam sordida nativitas, quam laboriosa educatio, quot iniuriis exposita pueritia, quot sudoribus adacta iuventus, quam gravis senectus, quam dura mortis necessitas, quot morborum agmina infestent, quot immineant casus, quot ingruant incommoda, quam nihil usquam non plurimo felle tinctum, ut ne commemorem ista, quæ homini ab homine inferuntur mala, quod genus sunt, paupertas, carcer, infamia, pudor, tormenta, insidiæ, proditio, convitia, lites, fraudes.

but I’m got into as endless a work as numbering the sands—

Sed ego iam plane ton ammon anametrein aggredior.

for what offenses mankind have deserved these things, or what angry god compelled them to be born into such miseries is not my present business.

Porro quibus admissis ista commeruerint homines, aut quis Deus iratus eos in has miserias nasci coegerit, non est mihi fas in præsentia proloqui.

Yet he that shall diligently examine it with himself, would he not, think you, approve the example of the Milesian virgins and kill himself?

Verum ista qui secum perpendat, nonne Milesiarum virginum probabit exemplum etiam si miserandum?

But who are they that for no other reason but that they were weary of life have hastened their own fate? Were they not the next neighbors to wisdom?

At quinam potissimum sibi vitæ tædio fatum accersivere Nonne sapientiæ confines?

among whom, to say nothing of Diogenes, Xenocrates, Cato, Cassius, Brutus, that wise man Chiron, being offered immortality, chose rather to die than be troubled with the same thing always.

Inter quos, ut interim Diogenes, Xenocrates, Catones, Cassios, ac Brutos sileam, Chiron ille cum immortalem esse liceret, ultro mortem præoptavit.

And now I think you see what would become of the world if all men should be wise; to wit it were necessary we got another kind of clay and some better potter.

Videtis, opinor, quid futurum sit, si passim sapiant homines: nempe altero luto, altero figulo Prometheo opus fore.

But I, partly through ignorance, partly unadvisedness, and sometimes through forgetfulness of evil, do now and then so sprinkle pleasure with the hopes of good and sweeten men up in their greatest misfortunes that they are not willing to leave this life, even then when according to the account of the destinies this life has left them; and by how much the less reason they have to live, by so much the more they desire it; so far are they from being sensible of the least wearisomeness of life.

Verum ego partim per ignorantiam, partim per incogitantiam, nonnumquam per oblivionem malorum, aliquando spem bonorum, aliquoties nonnihil mellis voluptatibus adspergens, ita tantis in malis succurro, ut ne tum quidem libeat vitam relinquere, cum exacto Parcarum stamine, ipsa iam dudum eos relinquit vita, quoque minus sit causæ, cur in vita manere debeant, hoc magis iuvet vivere, tantum abest, ut ullo vitæ tædio tangantur.

Of my gift it is, that you have so many old Nestors everywhere that have scarce left them so much as the shape of a man; stutterers, dotards, toothless, gray-haired, bald; or rather, to use the words of Aristophanes, “Nasty, crumpled, miserable, shriveled, bald, toothless, and wanting their baubles,” yet so delighted with life and to be thought young that one dyes his gray hairs; another covers his baldness with a periwig; another gets a set of new teeth; another falls desperately in love with a young wench and keeps more flickering about her than a young man would have been ashamed of.

Mei nimirum muneris est, quod passim Nestorea senecta senes videtis, quibus iam ne species quidem hominis superest, balbos, deliros, edentulos, canos, calvos, vel ut magis Aristophanicis eos describam verbis, rupôntas, kuphous, athlious, rusous, madôntas, nôdous kai psôlous, usque adeo vita delectari, adeoque neanizein, ut alius tingat canos, alius apposititia coma calvitium dissimulet, alius dentibus utatur mutuo fortassis a se quopiam sumptis, hic puellam aliquam misere depereat, et amatoriis ineptiis quemvis etiam superet adolescentulum.

For to see such an old crooked piece with one foot in the grave to marry a plump young wench, and that too without a portion, is so common that men almost expect to be commended for it.

Nam ut capulares iam, meraque silicernia, teneram aliquam iuvenculam ducant uxorem, eamque et indotatam, et aliis usui futuram, id adeo frequens, ut propemodum et laudi detur.

But the best sport of all is to see our old women, even dead with age, and such skeletons one would think they had stolen out of their graves, and ever mumbling in their mouths, “Life is sweet;” and as old as they are, still caterwauling, daily plastering their face, scarce ever from the glass, gossiping, dancing, and writing love letters.

Sed multo etiam suavius, si quis animadvertat anus, longo iam senio mortuas, adeoque cadaverosas, ut ab inferis redisse videri possint, tamen illud semper in ore habere, phôs agathon, adhuc catullire, atque, ut Græci dicere solent, kaproun et magna mercede conductum aliquem Phaonem inducere, fucis assidue vuItum oblinere, nusquam a speculo discedere, infimæ pubis silvam vellere, vietas ac putres ostentare mammas, tremuloque gannitu languentem sollicitare cupidinem, potitare, misceri puellarum choris, litterulas amatorias scribere.

These things are laughed at as foolish, as indeed they are; yet they please themselves, live merrily, swim in pleasure, and in a word are happy, by my courtesy.

Ridentur hæc ab omnibus, tamquam uti sunt, stultissima: at ipsæ sibi placent, et in summis interim versantur delitiis, totasque sese melle perungunt, meo videlicet beneficio felices.

But I would have them to whom these things seem ridiculous to consider with themselves whether it be not better to live so pleasant a life in such kind of follies, than, as the proverb goes, “to take a halter and hang themselves.”

Porro quibus hæc deridicula videntur, illud secum expendant velim, utrum satius ducant huiusmodi stultitia vitam plane mellitam exigere, an trabem, ut aiunt, suspendio quærere.

Besides though these things may be subject to censure, it concerns not my fools in the least, inasmuch as they take no notice of it; or if they do, they easily neglect it.

Porro quod hæc vulgo putantur infamiæ obnoxia, istud nihil ad stultos meos, qui malum hoc aut non sentiunt, aut si quid sentiunt, facile negligunt.

If a stone fall upon a man’s head, that’s evil indeed; but dishonesty, infamy, villainy, ill reports carry no more hurt in them than a man is sensible of;

Si saxum in caput incidat, id vere malum sit. Cæterum pudor, infamia, probrum, maledicta, tantum adferunt noxæ, quantum sentiuntur.

and if a man have no sense of them, they are no longer evils.

Si sensus absit, ne mala quidem sunt.

What are you the worse if the people hiss at you, so you applaud yourself?

Quid lædit, si totus populus in te sibilet, modo tute tibi plaudas?

And that a man be able to do so, he must owe it to folly.

Atque ut id liceat, sola Stultitia præstat.

XXXII

XXXII

But methinks I hear the philosophers opposing it

Sed mihi videor audire reclamantes philosophos.

and saying ’tis a miserable thing for a man to be foolish, to err, mistake, and know nothing truly.

Atqui hoc ipsum est, inquiunt, miserum, STULTITIA teneri, errare, falli, ignorare.

Nay rather, this is to be a man.

Imo hoc est hominem esse.

And why they should call it miserable, I see no reason; forasmuch as we are so born, so bred, so instructed, nay such is the common condition of us all.

Porro miserum cur vocent, non video, quandoquidem sic nati estis, sic instituti, sic conditi, ea est communis omnium sors.

And nothing can be called miserable that suits with its kind, unless perhaps you’ll think a man such because he can neither fly with birds, nor walk on all four with beasts, and is not armed with horns as a bull.

Nihil autem miserum, quod in suo genere constat, nisi forte quis hominem deplorandum existimet, qui neque volare possit cum avibus, neque quaternis ingredi pedibus cum reliquo pecudum genere, neque cornibus sit obarmatus, quemadmodum tauri.

For by the same reason he would call the warlike horse unfortunate, because he understood not grammar, nor ate cheese-cakes; and the bull miserable, because he’d make so ill a wrestler.

Verum is eadem opera equum etiam bellissimum infelicem vocabit, quod neque Grammaticam didicerit, neque placentis vescatur: taurum miserum, quod ad palæstricam sit inutilis.

And therefore, as a horse that has no skill in grammar is not miserable, no more is man in this respect, for that they agree with his nature.

Igitur ut equus imperitus Grammaticæ, miser non est, ita nec homo stultus, infelix, propterea quod hæc cum illius natura cohærent.

But again, the virtuosi may say that there was particularly added to man the knowledge of sciences, by whose help he might recompense himself in understanding for what nature cut him short in other things. As if this had the least face of truth, that Nature that was so solicitously watchful in the production of gnats, herbs, and flowers should have so slept when she made man, that he should have need to be helped by sciences, which that old devil Theuth, the evil genius of mankind, first invented for his destruction, and are so little conducive to happiness that they rather obstruct it; to which purpose they are properly said to be first found out, as that wise king in Plato argues touching the invention of letters.

Verum rursus urgent Logodædali. Est, inquiunt, homini peculiariter addita disciplinarum cognitio, quarum adminiculis id quod natura diminutum est, ingenio penset. Quasi vero ullam veri faciem habeat, naturam, quæ in culicibus, atque adeo in herbis ac flosculis tam sollicite vigilaverit, in uno homine dormitasse, ut disciplinis opus esset, quas Theutus ille humano generi infensus genius, in summam perniciem excogitavit, adeo non utiles ad felicitatem, ut illi quoque ipsi officiant, ad quod proprie repertæ dicuntur, ut eleganter arguit apud Platonem, Rex ille prudentissimus de litterarum invento.

Sciences therefore crept into the world with other the pests of mankind, from the same head from whence all other mischiefs spring; we’ll suppose it devils, for so the name imports when you call them demons, that is to say, knowing.

Igitur disciplinæ cum reliquis humanæ vitæ pestibus irrepserunt, iisdem auctoribus, a quibus omnia flagitia proficiscuntur, puta Dæmonibus, quibus hinc nomen etiam inventum, quasi daêmonas, hoc est, scientes appelles.

For that simple people of the golden age, being wholly ignorant of everything called learning, lived only by the guidance and dictates of nature;

Siquidem simplex illa aurei seculi gens, nullis armata disciplinis, solo naturæ ductu, instinctuque vivebat.

for what use of grammar, where every man spoke the same language and had no further design than to understand one another?

Quorsum enim opus erat Grammatica, cum eadem esset omnibus lingua, nec aliud sermone petebatur, nisi ut alius alium intelligeret?

What use of logic, where there was no bickering about the double-meaning words?

Quis usus dialectices, ubi nulla erat pugnantium inter se sententiarum dimicatio?

What need of rhetoric, where there were no lawsuits?

Quis rhetoricæ locus, cum nullus alteri negotium facesseret?

Or to what purpose laws, where there were no ill manners? from which without doubt good laws first came.

Quorsum requireretur legum prudentia, cum abessent mali mores, ex quibus haud dubie bonæ leges prognatæ sunt?

Besides, they were more religious than with an impious curiosity to dive into the secrets of nature, the dimension of stars, the motions, effects, and hidden causes of things; as believing it a crime for any man to attempt to be wise beyond his condition.

Porro religiosiores erant, quam ut impia curiositate arcana naturæ, siderum mensuras, motus, effectus, abditas rerum causas scrutarentur, nefas esse rati, si homo mortalis ultra sortem suam sapere conaretur.

And as to the inquiry of what was beyond heaven, that madness never came into their heads.

Iam quid extra coelum esset, inquirendi dementia ne in mentem quidem veniebat.

But the purity of the golden age declining by degrees, first, as I said before, arts were invented by the evil genii; and yet but few, and those too received by fewer.

At labente paulatim ætatis aureæ puritate, primum a malis, ut dixi, geniis inventæ sunt artes, sed paucæ, atque hæ quidem a paucis receptæ.

After that the Chaldean superstition and Greek newfangledness, that had little to do, added I know not how many more; mere torments of wit, and that so great that even grammar alone is work enough for any man for his whole life.

Postea sexcentas addidit Chaldæorum superstitio, et Græcorum otiosa levitas, meras ingeniorum cruces, adeo ut vel una Grammatica abunde satis sit ad perpetuam vitæ carnificinam.

XXXIII

XXXIII

Though yet among these sciences those only are in esteem that come nearest to common sense, that is to say, folly. Divines are half starved, naturalists out of heart, astrologers laughed at, and logicians slighted;

Quamquam inter has ipsas disciplinas, hæ potissimum in pretio sunt, quæ ad sensum communem, hoc est, ad stultitiam, quam proxime accedunt. Esuriunt Theologi, frigent Physici, ridentur Astrologi, negliguntur Dialectici.